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Teachings
and Writings of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach
On
Love
by Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach
Transcribed by Rivka Haut for Connections
Magazine, Brooklyn, 5745.
Listen
to me, sweetest friends. Just to talk about loving people,
loving G*d, about healing people, you touch the center of
the world, the center of life. Because, what is the most G*dlike
thing you can do to another human being?
How
does G*d give us life? Rav Nachman calls it "noam elyon"
- high sweetness. There is nothing sweeter in the world than
loving somebody. Even in this world, it's sweet. Rav Nachman
says that heavenly sweetness is coming down into this world
every second, every billionth of a second. It's flowing down.
The only thing is, you must have the sense to pick it up.
There
are two kinds of love in the world. Can you imagine, I am
walking down the street, don't feel any love in my heart,
not hatred, not love - nothing. Suddenly, I meet a very beautiful
girl and I fall in love with her. That means, I needed something
to touch me, to bring about that I suddenly have felt love.
This is the love after Creation.
The
Torah says, in Psalms, "olam chesed yebaneh" - G*d
created the world with love. That does not mean that there
is a world, and G*d loves that world. That is already the
love after Creation. It means, G*d had so much love in His
heart that He had to create the world.
Let's
talk about children. There are two kinds of love you have
for children. There is a love of after they are born; they're
born, they are your children, and you love them. But, you
only created them because you have so much love in your heart.
This is like the love of before creation.
Imagine,
some people just get together without loving each other, and
children are born. They are so angry, because they are missing
the most important part - you only create with love, because
G*d created the world with love.
Now,
I want you to know the deepest depths. Remember, when G*d
made a covenant with our father Abraham, Abraham circumcised
himself, and on the third day, he was really in pain. The
Talmud says that the third day is somewhat dangerous. So,
the sun came out very strong, and there were no guests. Abraham
sent his servants to find him a guest. How can one live without
guests in his house? But, there were no guests. So, three
angels came.
Abraham
was welcoming guests all his life, the kind of guest who really
needed to eat and to sleep. The Torah, however, does not record
that. The Torah records that he took in three angels, who
really didn't need to eat. The Talmud says that they just
pretended they were eating.
Abraham,
after he entered the Covenant with G*d, didn't need a poor
man to bring out the love in him, which is the love after
Creation. After he entered the Covenant with G*d, he was so
G*d-like, he just had to do good, like G*d. He was not in
a state where, if you see a person you love them, you see
a poor man and want to give him food. He was looking for a
poor man. He was looking to love somebody.
The
Talmud says that G*d came to heal Avraham; that means that
G*d came to give him the secret of healing. Because, if you
remember, the Covenant with Noah was only that the world will
always exist. Noah was not concerned with how many people
will live and how many will die - as long as there will always
be a world, there will be survivors. The Covenant with Abraham
was that some day the world will be fixed, some day the world
will be healed, the world will be cured. So, after G*d made
the Covenant with Abraham G*d came to give him the secret
of healing. The secret of healing is like creating the world.
There
has to be not the kind of love there is after Creation. There
has to be the kind of love before Creation.
G*d
has many names. G*d has the name "Hashem", and the
name "Elokim". "In the beginning, Elokim created..."
This is basically the name of justice, of sternness. There
has to be "Elokim", there has to be order - day
is day, night is night, winter is winter; there must be order
in the universe. When candle-lighting is 4:20, there is nothing
you can do about it that's when it is. You cannot say, listen,
I will be able to feel Shabbos better if I rest now and kindle
the lights later. You cannot change when Shabbos is. You cannot
say, "I am living by the name of "Hashem",
I am infinite." You are not infinite. Don't kid yourself.
G*d is infinite. The world is not infinite. You are not infinite.
But
again, the other side. The finite people are so disgusting,
Gevalt, are they disgusting. They are murderers. You can kill
somebody. You can say, "This person is a thief - put
him in prison. He did this - shoot him." No mercy. The
deepest secret of life is that you have to keep both together.
There has to be Absolute order, and also the infinite. Both
together. When it comes to educating children, you have to
be "Hashem Elokim". You teach them Day is Day, Night
is Night. But, on the other hand, if that is all you teach
them, you cripple them. You kill G*d's name, "Hashem",
inside of them, that infinite name of G*d. You have to teach
them both.
G*d
forbid, if somebody is sick, he is sick. Have you ever heard
people whisper that if somebody is sick, he probably deserves
it? People have excuses, people give lectures on why the six
million had to be killed. Who are these people? They are murderers!
They may not kill people, but they have murder in their hearts.
What is their problem? They are not connected to G*d's infinite
name.
Sometimes,
we love somebody in a measured love. We want to know how much
money her family has, how many degrees she has. This is not
love in an infinite way. This is not the love before Creation.
Before Creation there was nothing, except for G*d's infinite
love. There was nothing else. Only the infinite.
When
you want to cure somebody who is sick, you cannot cure a person
with the love of after Creation. When somebody is in pain,
somebody is crying, and you tell them they are wrong, you
think now is the time to educate them? Especially little children.
The adults say: "Why are you crying? Your father hit
you? He was probably right." Sure, he was right. But,
if I talk this way to a child, I can't cure her. I make her
sicker. You have to connect them with G*d's name that existed
before there was anything in the world. When I want to cure
somebody, it has to be on the level of before Creation. There
is nothing there - and there is everything. I want to talk
about healing with hands. Basically, our hands are finite.
How much can you do with your hands? Everything you can do
with them is finite. True? No, it isn't true. Words are finite.
Imagine, I tell a girl I love her very much. So, I told her,
with finite words. But, imagine, if, while I tell her, I hold
her hand. The hands have the power of giving over something
infinite.
The
Talmud says that G*d created the world with His hands. There
are the hands of before Creation. The hands of before Creation
don't know of any limits, don't know of anything finite. The
hands of before Creation don't do anything wrong, It's impossible.
On such a high level, evil doesn't exist.
If
I love a girl very much, and I find out she is not so good,
and I decide I won't see her anymore, the problem is not that
she is bad, but that I don't really love her so much. If whatever
she did wrong can destroy my love, then my love wasn't so
strong! But, if I really love her, and someone says; "Listen,
she is a terrible girl", I would say: "I don't care."
It doesn't mean that I don't care for her being wrong, but
that her doing wrong doesn't reach the place where I love
her. My love is so high, that the wrong she did remains lower,
and doesn't reach the love.
So,
there are the hands of before Creation, and there are the
hands of after Creation, and there are the hands of Moshiach.
"Mikdesh Hashem Koininu Yadecha" - "The Temple
of G*d, Your hands will fashion." The first two temples
were built by us, by human beings. The third temple, for which
we are waiting, will be rebuilt just by G*d's hands. Suddenly,
it will appear.
There
is a kind of healing and there is a kind of love, which takes
time. G*d created the world in six days. In six days! But
then, sometimes G*d's hands heal in one second. So, there
are two kinds of healing. There is the healing of the six
days of Creation. With all the being infinite, it still took
six days. When the Messiah comes, the hands that will rebuild
the holy temple will do so in a second. When you love somebody
very much, you can hold their hand and they will sense if
it is the hands of before Creation, or the hands after Creation,
or, are they the hands of Moshiach? Of the third temple? Children
are carried in ones' hands; they are so connected to hands.
Some children grow up with the hands of after Creation, and
some grow up with the hand of when Moshiach is coming.
Have
you ever seen sometimes when a child is crying, and you pat
her head and try to soothe her, and she still cries? Sometimes,
you put your hands on her head, and she stops crying. It doesn't
take any time - she is suddenly smiling. It is Moshiach's
hands. It doesn't take any time.
Some
people do not have even a taste of the Infinite. Do you know
who are the lonely, broken people? They don't have a taste
of the All. Some people don't have the All, but, for once
in their lives, they had a taste of the All.
Imagine,
I love my wife very much, and I buy her an apartment in New
York one in Paris, one in Israel. I give her a lot of things.
One day, I was praying at the Holy Wall, and, while I was
praying, a little stone fell down from one of the Holy stones.
I picked it up, and I brought my wife that stone. This is
All. So much deeper. Sometimes, I give my child many things.
But, where is the All?
The Talmud says that G*d's presence, the Shechinah, is above
the head of a sick person. This has millions of meanings.
When a person is sick, what do they need? They don't need
little things. They need the All.
When
it comes to words, you can only utter one word after another.
When it comes to hearing, you can only hear one thing at a
time. The Gemarah says, "Trei Kolei Lo Nishmaain"
- two voices cannot be heard clearly at the same time. You
can hear only one word after another, one. One voice after
another. But, when it comes to seeing, you can see many things
at once. Seeing is connected to the All.
When
do people cry? When I miss particulars, I don't cry. When
it touches my All, my eyes, then I cry. When you love somebody
very much, you look in their eyes. You don't look at their
ears, only their eyes. Eyes are so deep. With some people,
when you look at their eyes, you see only dollar bills. With
others, when you look in their eyes, you see G*d's presence.
This
is an Ishbitzer Torah. Animals eat exactly what they need
- they don't overeat. Why is it that we human beings don't
know limits, not only in food, but in everything? Why is that?
Because, spiritually, I can reach beyond myself. What is so
special about this world? In this world, everything is open.
So much so that yesterday, although I was the lowest person
in the world, today I can reach the highest level. Yesterday
I had a fight with someone. Today we can be great friends.
This world has something that is not finite. If you ever thought
that heaven is infinite, you are mistaken. Heaven has the
finiteness of heaven. Heaven is also finite. You know what
really is infinite? This world! Right here, in the chair we
are sitting on - this world is infinite.
There
is a Torah from the Jikavor. The Jikavor says, the soul in
heaven, before I was born, when I was dwelling in heaven,
was beautiful, but - who needed me? Nobody needed me, and
I didn't need anybody else. In heaven, who needs friends?
Friends can't do anything for you. But, only in this world
can you be a friend to somebody, and somebody can be a friend
to you. Some days, I can walk on the street and hear somebody
cry, and you know where I can reach in one second? Beyond
myself. Let's assume if I work hard, I can reach a certain
spiritual height. Let's say I'll be a million miles high.
But then, there can be one moment when I am eternally high
- beyond everything. So, the Ishbitzer says, every person
has an absolute drive to reach beyond, to be infinite. The
only thing is - if I don't know how to handle it, I want more
food, more money, more clothes. You have this drive.
The
question is, there is "le-eiteh" - stuffing. What
are you stuffing your self with - to be a better friend, to
love people more, or are you stuffing your self with yet another
good time? So, he says, what Hashem did was to take a Tzaddik,
a holy man, and put him in charge of "le-eiteh."
What are holy people doing in the world? To let the world
know, don't put your drive for the infinite in stupid things.
You should be searching for that absolute stuffing yourself,
reaching beyond yourself, every second.
When
somebody is sick, they get in touch with the deepest depths
of their life. What are they missing? If you ask a sick person
if he wants to live, he'll say yes. Why does he want to life?
He is crying, why didn't I reach beyond myself? I had such
an opportunity, why didn't I do that? Why wasn't I infinite?
What are friends for? What does it mean to love somebody?
It means that person puts me in touch with the Infinite, to
reach beyond myself. A wedding begins when the groom covers
the face of the bride. That means he is telling the bride
that, because of her, he is becoming infinite. The eyes are
infinite. I can reach even beyond the All; what I thought
was All, is not.
When
somebody is sick, the Torah says, our holy fathers had "Ba
kol mikol kol" - they had the All. You know what Avraham
taught the world? Before Avraham, there were a lot of holy
people, but they taught the world that you can reach beyond
yourself. Avraham is "bakol mikol kal", deeper.
If you have the All, you are so full. If you have everything
in the world, but the All is missing, qevalt are you empty.
You are aching.
I
have seen people who have everything - family, money. But,
they are broken. I have seen people who have nothing, no money,
but they have the All, they can reach beyond themselves.
When
Jacob had a dream, he dreamt that there is a ladder going
up to heaven. A ladder is finite - it has a beginning and
an end. Even heaven is finite. But, then he saw "Vehenei
Hashem Nitzav Alav" - G*d was standing above him. Do
you know what he saw? That you can reach beyond yourself.
You can do one thing, and suddenly, you are something else.
When
we see people crying, at that moment they are open for the
All. At that moment, they are ready to reach beyond themselves.
When the Holy Temple was destroyed, it says "Aynai, Aynai,
yorda mayim" - my eyes can't stop crying. What is the
Temple all about? How can G*d be limited to one place?
There
are many people who say, "I am infinite I cannot limit
myself to one religion." What's their problem? Between
Infinite nothing and Infinite something, there is such a thin
line. Gevalt, is it thin.
You
know, when you love somebody very much, you sit under a tree
for an hour, and you know what you experience? Not the infiniteness
of heaven, but G*d's infiniteness, which is only in this world.
You can do a favor to one person, just be close to one person,
and see what you experience; G*d's infiniteness, which is
only in this world. Esau comes to us and says, let's face
it, you know what G*d is all about? Do this, do that. He is
holding a stick over us. I can't stand G*d's stick. G*d makes
me so finite. In order to get out of it, I stuff myself. You
know what to answer him back? You want to be infinite? When
you pass by a street, and see one poor man dying from hunger,
give him all the money you have. Be Infinite - just one person.
When you pray to G*d, don't look at the clock. Be Infinite.
When
you have a chance to heal one person, you are not healing
just one person. It's not finite. At that moment you can reach
beyond yourself, reaching that love of G*d which was before
Creation. Infinite. When you walk up to a person and give
them a good word, when someone is heartbroken and you give
them a good word, when you utter some words - sometimes they
are your words, sometimes they are Moshiach's words. In one
second, you can cure that person, you can give him back his
self-confidence.
The
world understands today that you cannot cure the body without
the soul. What does that mean? You cannot cure their finite
parts if you also cannot cure their infiniteness.
What
is my soul? My soul has this deep longing, because my soul
knows that I am here in this world to reach beyond myself.
I want something so deep, so glorious.
You
know friends, sometimes children are so angry at their parents,
because all their parents talk to them about is the finite
part of them - be a doctor, make money, have two cars. Children
feel, how come you never talk to me about something deep,
something holy? Where is the Infinite?
Sometimes,
parents and children have those moments that are just Infinite.
You know, it is possible that somebody gives me a million
dollars. I like them. But, one person gave me one handshake,
and I love him forever, because, the million dollars was finite
- the handshake was infinite. You know, sweetest friends,
the closer we get to Moshiach's coming, the stronger the desire
gets to reach beyond ourselves.
Basically,
medicine is the most finite science in the world. Somebody's
body is sick you cure the body. If the feet are sick, you
cure the feet. Now, something is happening to the world. They
feel that if the feet are sick, the pain is felt not just
in the feet, but all over. The whole person must be cured,
not just the feet. I can walk with my feet two blocks, and
I was finite. I can walk with my feet to do somebody a favor
and I was Infinite.
You
know, friends, sometimes a person needs just a finite friendship.
Sometimes a person absolutely needs an infinite friendship.
Sometimes children come home from school and they need just
a peanut butter sandwich. Sometimes, they need an infinite
peanut butter sandwich.
The
deepest secret of life is, if you are connected to a person
only on the level of after Creation - you don't get it. If
you are connected to them on the level of before Creation,
you have a Covenant with G*d, you are like Avraham Aveinu.
Before
Abraham entered the Covenant with G*d, Covenant meaning I
am completely given over to G*d in an infinite way, to serve
G*d every second - before Avraham entered the Covenant he
knew that if he saw a poor person he had to give them food,
and a place to stay. After the Covenant, he had a different
kind of welcoming guests. He knew that if a person has no
home, he needs more than a place to stay. He knew that a person
who has nothing needs everything. Suddenly, Avraham Aveinu
realized that a person who has no home, nothing, has vessels
to receive everything. And, when the angels who were greeted
by Avraham told him that he will have children, suddenly Avraham
realized that a child needs everything, everything!
I
want to bless you and I want to bless all the people who heal
people. We are all sick. When a person is, G*d forbid, a little
bit sick, when things go wrong in our lives - at that moment,
we have a vessel for everything. It says of the Holy Land:
"Eretz kol be" - a land that has everything. We
were 2,000 years in exile, and G*d didn't give the Holy Land
back to us. You know when we suddenly had vessels for the
Holy Land? When we walked through gas chambers. We had nothing
any more. There was nothing left. Nothing.
We
have to see the Holy Land - G*d should give it to us completely.
We still think we have something, we think we have Western
civilization, we have the U.S.A., - we really have nothing.
We have only G*d. The moment we have nothing, we become a
vessel for everything.
When
I have Shabbos, I don't want a little Shabbos, I want the
All of Shabbos - "Yom Shekulo Shabbos" - a day that
is All of Shabbos. We don't need friends just to say hi to.
We need friends who are infinite friends. Today we have a
chance. G*d opens gates to us. We can reach beyond ourselves.
Remember,
Rav Kook says, the sign that moshiach is coming is that our
children are so beautiful. The children coming down from heaven
now are so beautiful, so special. We have to give them All.
I want to bless you and me. There are so many children running
around in the world, whose parents don't have the faintest
idea what All is. You and I have to be G*d's messengers. We
say, "Refaeinu Hashem Venerafeh" - "G*d, heal
me." I want to be healed on a G*d level. When something
hurts me, I don't want just to cure my body. I want to cure
my life.
A
lot of times, we have these infinite moments. But, we are
still living in a finite world. There is day, there is night,
I have to make a living. I have to go to work. The saddest
thing is, we don't incorporate these infinite moments into
our finite lives.
Many
people stand by the Holy Wall and cry their eyes out. At that
moment, they are infinitely Jewish. But, when they come back,
they go back to the way they were. Their "Elokim"
and their "Hashem" don't work together. Because
we are finite, G*d created a finite world. G*d wants something
more from us, even deeper. Moshiach is coming. G*d's name
that will be in the world will be "Eheye asher Eheye"
- "I will be what I will be." This means, not finite
and not infinite. It's deeper than that.
I
want to bless you and me and all of us, when we are learning,
we learn one page, but let that page be infinite. But, I want
to hold the page in my hands, it's finite, it's one page,
but it's infinite. A love letter is just a page but, it's
really infinite. It's everything.
The
world is so broken. The world has vessels for the unbelievable
things that are happening. If only all the doctors, all the
psychiatrists, would have enough sense, and maybe some day
they will, to fix the All, really to fix, to give people the
strength to reach beyond themselves ... Children want to reach
beyond themselves. If you don't tell your children that they
are the most beautiful in the world - don't talk to them.
Then you'll tell me, but, what about my neighbor's child?
She is also beautiful. Ah, on a finite level, it's a contradiction,
but on an infinite level, my child is the most beautiful in
the world, your child is the most beautiful in the world,
for G*d, every human being is the most beautiful in the world.
Maybe one we shall know that all of us, every single one of
us, is the best in the whole world.
Copyright
© by the Shlomo Carlebach Foundation
Teachings
and Writings of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach
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