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Death
By
Rabbi Gershon Winkler
The
sanctity of death in Judaism is best dramatized in the story
of our ancestral father, Av'raham, that very detailed story
of his extensive dialogue and negotiation with the Hitites
over a piece of land he had chosen for burying Sarah. That
he went through all the trouble and a heap of money to acquire
a particular piece of property for the burial, and that the
Torah spends an entire chapter detailing the acquisition of
this piece of land (Genesis, Chapter 23), demonstrates how
dear the dead are to us, how we do not dismiss it the land
of the living with glib disposal. The ancients also tell us
that Av'raham went through so much dialogue negotiating for
the burial site for Sarah in order to impart to the Hitites
a lesson, that death is sacred, and the dead live on, thus
the need to honor them with decent burial, not arbitrary disposal.
"The
soul," the rabbis taught us some 2,000 years ago, "is
in death as she is in life"
_Oral
tradition quoted by 12th-century Rabbi Yehudah Ha'Chassid
in Sefer Chassidim, No. 1129.
The
Torah makes no mention of what happens after death, only that
we join our ancestors (e.g., Genesis 25:8 and 49:29 and 33).
The Torah herself is referred to as the Torah of Life, To'rat
Chayyim. The emphasis of the teachers has always been toward
Life, toward Living, in the here and now. They taught about
the eventual resurrection of the dead (1 Samuel 2:6, Isaiah
26:19, Daniel 12:2, Mishnah, Sotah 9:15, Sanhedrin 10:1) though
not all the sages held the belief as a principle of our faith
(e.g. Yosef Albo in Sefer Ha'Ikkarim Vol. 1, Chapter 29, No.
31). They taught us about the World to Come and how the soul
lives on after death - yes - but they encouraged a greater
focus on Life in the land of the living.
"I
want to walk before God," wrote David some 2900 years
ago, "and witness the good of God in the land of the
living"
_Psalms
116"9 and 27:13
They
taught us about the World to Come and how the soul lives on
after death- yes - but they encouraged a greater focus on
Life in the land of the living.
"I
want to walk before God," wrote David some 2900 years
ago, "and witness the good of God in the land of the
living"
_Psalms
116"9 and 27:13
And
while Life is to be celebrated, Death is not to be feared
– it is to be seen as an integral part of Being. As the
3rd-century B.C.E. sage Ben-Sira taught: "Do not fear
death. Remember there were people that have been here before
you and there will be people here after you. This is God's
scheme of things for all of us, so why are you so against
this particular piece of the Divine Plan? (Ecclistiasticus
41:3-4). And as the Wise Woman of Te'ko'ah told King David
some 800 years earlier: "We must all die; we are like
water spilt upon the earth, which cannot be gathered up again"
(2 Samuel 14:14).
In
other words, life can never be undone. Once we are created,
we are like water spilled on the ground that can never be
collected again, never recalled from what it is. We instead
seep deeper and deeper into Being-ness; we live forever. Therefore,
while we are taught of the importance of grieving over a dead
close of kin, we are also warned against excessive grieving.
The Talmud puts it this way: One who grieves to excess over
the death will soon grieve over another death (Babylonian
Talmud, Mo'ed Katan 27b).
What
happens after death? We cannot know. Like Moses told us more
than 3,000 years ago: "The hidden things are for Hashem
our God; the revealed things are for us and for our children"
_Deuteronomy
29:28
What
we do know from our ancestors, however, is that we return
to where we came from, to God who made us. That even when
our bodies give in, our soul lives on. "Whom have I in
the Heavens," wrote King David, "but you, O God.
And I desire nothing here on earth but you. Though my flesh
and my heart fail, God is my rock and my thread of continuity
forever"
_Psalms
73:25-26
Judaism
has many practices around the dead and the dying. What happens
to our soul after we die is called hash'eret nefesh, meaning:
"the remaining of the soul," that although the body
is gone from life, the soul remains in life. To protect the
departing soul from bad spirits that might be hovering about
to harass this rookie who's just left home, so to speak, the
body is placed on the earth immediately upon the last breath
(Sif'tei Kohen on Shulchan Aruch, Yorah De'ah 339:4).
The connection of soul and body remains for a while, so that
if the body touches the earth, she will repel the spirits
from approaching the ascending soul. In fact, the soul still
sees the body from its spiritual abode even long after death
(Sefer Hassidim, No. 1163). The windows are opened as well,
to allow for the soul to make its exit with ease (Ma'avar
Ya'bok).
Close
of kin tear their garment in respect to the fact that the
body had been the garment of the soul all these years and
the two are now separated, torn, from one another (Responsa
of B'er Moshe, Vol. 2, No. 117). Thus the ancient rabbis instructed
that the garment tearing be done immediately upon the departure
of the soul from the body, to mark that separation (Babylonian
Talmud, Mo'ed Katan 25a).
These
days, the ripping of the garment is done prior to the burial
or at the burial or upon hearing of the demise. But the earlier
tradition reflects a time when our people were more in tune
with the actual moment of the soul leaving the body. In fact,
there is a rule that if a person is dying and there is noise
outside, such as wood cutting, etc., that the wood cutter
is ordered to cease from his or her work in case the soul
is having trouble parting from the body due to the distracting
noise outside (Sefer Hassidim, No. 723).
The
person who is dying, whose soul is ebbing from its home in
the body, is draped in a tallit. The bystanders help them
to wash their hands ritually, three times over the right,
three times over the left. The dying person then does a little
Yom Kippur either verbally or in their thoughts, reflecting
on their life, asking for forgiveness for having wronged people,
etc., and if they are able to, they recite Psalms 4, 6, 121,
145. As they feel themselves at the door of death, they recite
Psalm 22 and 29 (13th-century Rabbi Moshe ibn Nachmon, quoted
in Choch'mat Ahdam, No. 151).
The
dying person then lifts his or her hands to the heavens and
declares: "Creator of the universe. I hereby actively
and with integrity accept upon myself Death, and I do so with
joy and with whole-heartedness, to fulfill the mitzvah that
incorporates all mitzvot by joining myself with you and becoming
one with your sacred Name. Bring me into the mystery of the
Feminine Waters (may nuk'va), so that I might by my death
unify the Sacred Wellspring with the Shechinah in awe and
in love, and draw forth from Above to Below, level by level,
from your Flux, so that my rising from earth to heaven be
a bonding between creation with creator. May my respite be
in peacefulness. Sh'ma yisro'el, ah'do'nie elo'hey'nu ah'do'nie
e'chad!"
_13th-century
Rabbi Moshe ibn Nachmon, quoted in Choch'mat Ahdam, No.
151.
When
the soul leaves the body, the visitors place the body on the
earth immediately, and cover the body with pure white linen,
and recite the Adon Olam prayer, and the Sh'ma, first line,
and Ah'do'nie hu ha'elo'heem ("The Infinite One is the
Source of all Powers") seven times, and ah'do'nie melech,
ah'do'nie moloch, ah'do'nie yim'loch l'olam va'ed ("God
reigns, God has reigned, God will always reign forever and
ever").
The
body is then taken to be washed, first by pouring water over
the frontal part, one pours another washes or scrubs where
the water has been poured. The body is then turned on its
left side and the right side of the back is washed, then on
the right and the left side is washed. The body is never placed
face down out of respect. The body is then immersed in a ritual
pool, a mikveh, after which it is clothed in a pure linen
sheet and placed in a purely wooden casket void of any artificial
treatment or steel, including nails. If the deceased had a
tallit, it is placed over them as well. The bottom of the
casket is slid from underneath after the casket is lowered
into the earth, so that the body will return to the earth
more organically and expediently.
We
then place the left hand on the grave and recite from Isaiah,
Chapter 58, verse 11: "God shall guide you always; God
will take away your thirst in the parched places of your being,
and give strength to your bones. You shall become like a watered
garden, like a spring whose waters do not fail." There
are many rituals involved in all this, I am only referring
to a few. The idea of washing the body is not only out of
respect to the garment that had clothed and facilitated the
soul, but because, as the 12th-century Rabbi Yehudah Ha'Chassid
taught: "When we come into this world, we are washed;
likewise should it be that we are washed when we leave this
world."
We
are taught by the Kabbalists of old that the dead return to
the land of the living when they wish, and can appear to us
in any form or garment they desire. (Sefer Hassidim, No. 1129);
that they sometimes will come to us, and communicate with
us but only when they want to. They don't appreciate being
conjured up (I Samuel 28:13), and when they do visit us they
will visit us in dreams or while we are awake (Sefer Hassidim,
No. 1128). They are not allowed to reveal to us secrets of
the heavens, though (Sefer Hassidim, No. 1133), and if they
come to us in our dreams and offer us something, there are
two schools of thought about whether we should receive it:
the Talmud says no, the Zohar says, go for it, it's a good
omen (Vol. 4, folio 180a).
The
dead roam around the world at times, curious about what's
happening here, and what fate looms ahead for us living folks
(Babylonian Talmud, B'rachot 18b). At times, they even come
to us to advise us, and well-meaningly will suggest we follow
them. But this can cause us to die, we are taught, so if that
ever happens, say three times: "I want to be in this
life, in this world. Do not come back, neither to me, neither
to my children, etc. ever again" - and say this barefoot
(Last Will and Testament of 12th-century Rabbi Yehudah Ha'Chassid,,
No. 9).
Death
itself, we are taught, has no meaning unless Life has meaning.
If one is not able to live, one is less able to die. Alexander
the Great asked the sages of the nehggev 2300 years ago: "If
one wishes to die, what should one do?" They replied:
"One should live." Meaning, the quality we invest
in living later translates into the quality we reap in dying.
Or as the Talmud puts it: hi al'ma k'bay hee'lu'la dam'yeh,
"This world is like a house of celebration" -the
more we celebrate living, the better prepared we will be for
the transition to dying, because the empowerment gained from
the celebration of life will carry us through the transition
of death. Akin to the strength we gather from a party for
what awaits us after the party.
“Sleep
is one-sixteeth of death.”
_Babylonian
Talmud, B'rachot 57b
The
most potent experience in the body is that of sexual climax.
Why? Because it is the closest glimpse we have of the realm
beyond Life. What is the mystery of sex? Usually the body
experiences blissfulness from what it takes in. But in sex,
the body experiences bliss by what it sends out, surrendering
of itself - which is what happens at death, when the body
sends out the soul, surrendering of itself. Thus, the sages
taught that sexual climaxing is akin to the bliss waiting
in the next World (Babylonian Talmud, B'rachot 57b)
Three
days are for weeping
Seven days are for grieving
Thirty days are for eulogizing
Eleven months are memorializing
After that, don't behave as if you have a greater compassion
than God.
_Babylonian
Talmud, Mo'ed Katan 27b
As
is written in Jeremiah 22:10 -" Do not cry for the dead,
and do not lament for them. Weep rather for the one who is
dying and shall never again return to the land of the living."
Grieve for the one who is dying, to get it out of your system,
as is written: "Weep rather for the one who is dying"
_Jeremiah
22:10
Ancient
Jewish Prayer for the Dead
Compassionate
One,
remember now
the precious soul of
_________ (name of person who died)
who returned
to the realm from which he had
originally come to spend time
with us in this life. May his/her
soul be intertwined with your
great
spirit, the source of all life,
and in the warmth and serenity
of your wings. May his/her spirit be
joined with the spirits of our
ancestors Sarah and Abraham,
and with the spirits of other
great women and men who now
dwell in the Bliss of Paradise.
Source of all Blessing are you,
Yah, breath of all life, who created
__________ (name of person who died)
and graced us with the gift of his/her
presence in our lives. You chose
to bring him/her into being on our plane,
and you chose to call him/her back to
your realm, in your own
mysterious way. We thank you, Creator
of life and death for the time we had
with our beloved and ask you to comfort
us now for our sense of loss in our lives
and for our somber encounter with our own
mortality in this moment. Renew in us
the faith that – in your unending love –
death is but a journey of the spirit from
the finite realm of physical being to the
infinite realm of your eternal embrace.
For the soul of the human is a spark of
the divine. Wellspring of blessing
are you, Yah, breath of all life, who is
with us in life and in death.
El
malay rachamim sho'chain bam'romim ham'tsei mn'nucha n'chona
tachat kan'fei ha'sh'chinah lenish'mat _________________ (name
of person who died)
Translation:
Great Power of Compassion who dwells in the Realms of the
High, bring forth true repose beneath the wings of your Presence
to the spirit of _________________ (name
of person who died)
Oseh
shalom bim'ro'mav hu ya'aseh shalom, shal'vah, ne'chamah,
v'ko'ach zee'karon ed'nah, aleynu v'al kol yosh'vei tey'vel
Translation:
You who creates harmony in the Realm of the High, also bring
to us harmony and peace of mind, consolation and strength
of nurturing memory, upon us and upon all who walk, swim,
and fly across this earth.
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